Surf these sites: An Open Letter to the Parents, Family and Friends of a Transsexual -- "Since you are reading this, I assume that someone close to you, a friend or family member, has made what must appear to you to be a very shocking and perhaps disturbing disclosure. Your thoughts must be racing at this moment and your emotions are probably in a turmoil. You probably have many question. If you are concerned about the person, you probably have some fears. In this letter, I will try to answer some of those questions and deal with a few of those fears. I can speak with authority on this subject, because I am a transsexual." Even Genetic Girls Get the Blues -- "When I attended an S.O. meeting, I found that it helped immensely to speak to other women who were experiencing some of the same difficulties, fears, and frustrations I was. Although few solutions were offered, it felt good to engage in the age-old sport of complaining about men, albeit with a different twist (e.g., "I hate it when he uses my makeup"). If nothing else, it was comforting to find out I wasn''t the only one experiencing certain problems." FTM SOFFA Forum -- A community resource for loved ones and friends of transitioning (or transitioned) FTMs. Forum: Common Ground Archive -- The archive of Washington Post articles by SOFFA activist Loree Cook-Daniels. Lots of transfamily content! GAIN for January 16, 1999 -- Announcement of a soffa activists'' chat on AOL. Gender Mirror -- Nice site by a transman-transwoman couple. Includes "the first ever public photo of a transman and transwoman kissing" and a sample from their upcoming book. If You''re Going to Be a Female, Please Don''t Be an Airhead -- "I''m 39 years old, and about two decades ago I made a decision to reject some of the feminine frippery that I found--to dust off a phrase from the Sixties--demeaning to women. I''m talking about makeup, unnaturally curly hair, nails long enough to impair dexterity, shoes two sizes too small, starving oneself thin, and so on. (What twisted piece of karma gave me a husband who wears high heels is beyond me, but I can''t help but see the humor in it.)" Kitten''s Life -- "Two months after we started dating, Darien finally told me that he was born a female, named Terri Lynn. That he believed that he was made upside down. At first, it didn''t sink in, but it finally did. I figured then, that I had a choice to make. I could leave Darien because it, or stay with the man that I loved. This may sound very confusing and I''m still figuring things out. But right now, I know I''m very happy with the choice that I made and I will never regret not going the other route. Here are some pointers if you are in a relationship with a FtM...." Melissa and Kath''s Tea Time -- Site is dedicated to heterosexual cross dressers and their wives/significant others dealing with cross dressing in the relationship. Minnie Bruce Pratt -- An amazing incredible poet-activist who writes prose poems like "Beatrice waits for the woman with eyes that say, Come with me. Into the rain-streaked street of night, the yellow leaves fallen like golden scars on black asphalt, they walk out their answer to the riddle, the woman who is not a man, the woman who is not a woman, following the yellow drift like fire around the corner." Patty''s Kewl New Homepage! -- "My name is Patty Anne Chall. I am married to the Kewlest man in the Universe! Mikal is 23 yrs. old and is a pre-everything FTM. I am 33 yrs. old and a bi.....femme.....boychick, if there is such a thing! We are looking to make new friends in this ever expanding FTM-S/O community." Polare, the magazine of The Gender Centre: "Am I Right to Feel This Way?" the magazine of The Gender Centre i -- "A great many of the articles and stories appearing in transgendered publications center around the crossdresser´s needs, and rights, to express their feminine side. It is also a common theme to belittle or shame those who would deny or put limitations on this expression of self. Unfortunately while endorsing the rights of the transgendered, there is a tendency to ignore the very real feelings, needs and rights of the partners of these gender-gifted persons...." S.T.A.R.R -- A support group for heterosexual cross dressers and wives/SO''s that meet on the second weekend of the month in a non sexual environment. Located in North Carolina. STARR has programs for both couples as well as the single members. SOFFA resource list -- A list of groups that explicitly welcome partners, significant others, family members, and/or other interested persons of FTMs. SOFFAs? Yes! -- A little talk from the American Boyz page on our significant others. "The people who are intimately involved with ftms are going through their own transition, one which can be every bit as challenging as the transition facing the ftm." Sexual Orientation Confusion Among Spouses -- An Abstract dealing with spouses'' reaction to disclosure of husband''s crossgendered behavior. Silence = Death -- A great essay from the partner of an intersexed lesbian. "I have come to believe myself a part of this community. I may not be transgendered, transsexual, or intersexed. I may have been fortunate enough to be born into a body that matches my sense of self and is accepted by society in its original form. But this is still my fight. She is my partner, my love, the greatest gift life ever gave me." Straight Spouse Network (SSN) -- Home Page -- The Straight Spouse Network (SSN) is an international support network of heterosexual women and men, formerly or currently partnered with gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered mates. TRANS-POSITIONED -- About being the lesbian-identified partner of an FTM, by the wondrous Loree Cook-Daniels. "I expected rejection. I expected incredulity. I expected anger. I expected curiosity. What I did not expect was what I found. Out of the first 30 or so coupled lesbian friends we talked to, threeadmitted that one of the partners felt she was also a female-to-male transsexual (FTM). A fourth lesbian friend said she had struggled with the question for many years before deciding to keep her female body and role. During the whole nine years Marcelle and I had grappled in isolation with that invisible elephant in the living room, other lesbians we knew and socialized with were cohabitating with the same beast!" TS and Marriage -- "A couple enters a marriage because they care about the welfare of their partner. The couple agree to work together in times of health or sickness, during times of financial plenty or when disaster hits. Should one spouse be severely injured in an accident, would the other spouse immediately file for divorce because of such a change in the marriage situation? Very, very few would." The Couples'' Network -- Relationships between men and women are difficult enough with the pressures of jobs, money, children, bills and family matters. When the issue of transgenderism is added to this already boiling cauldron, it''s good to know that there are others who have successfully navigated through this stretch of water. You are not alone, nor are you in unexplored territory. The TG Partners Page -- our loved ones have been pretty much left out of all this. Even sites that have some support for you often require you to start at a TG person''s Home Page that has a beautiful (but possibly upsetting to you) photograph at the top. Wives, Partners, and other Significant Others, this site is for you. It is being created and maintained by a married man who crossdresses. I sincerely hope that it provides you with a friendly, non-threatening place to share your thoughts with many, many others. Trans Forming Families Book - Excerpts -- Little tastes of what''s in the whole book, with captions like "Tell Grandma I''m a Boy" and "More Than ''Standing By My Trans''." TransFamily Cleveland -- TransFamily Cleveland is a support group for transgendered and transsexual people, their parents, partners, children, other family members, friends, and supportive others and provides referrals, literature, and over-the-phone information on all transgender issues. TransFamily Support Group -- "TransFamily is a unique support group for all transgendered people, their familiy members and friends. This group is open to ALL transgendered people, supportive family members and supportive friends regardless of physical birth gender or sexual orientation." TransParent Winter, 1997 -- Including stories like "How did I start out with a melancholy Catholic daughter and end up with a contented Jewish son? (The tale of Philadelphia T*FAM)," "Life is more fun married to a transsexual," and "Mary Boenke - A PFLAG leader''s lesbian daughter becomes her son." What If? -- A lovely essay by a Quaker P-FLAG member. "Look, we take chances. We are in the business of saving lives. Lives of confused youth, lives of desperate adults. Does it make a difference? What is each of those lives worth? Who else is really fighting for those we seek to save?...There is a responsibility here. A responsibility that few are willing to accept. Most simply turn their faces away... what you can not see simply does not exist." When you love the one you''re with.... -- "''Impossible! Ha Ha very funny! No Way! How? How could you?'' and then stunned silence. These were some of the many reactions I had when my SO told me that he was transgendered. The man I loved with all my heart and soul, the man I promised to stand by through all of life''s hardships and joys, the man I married wasn''t a man at all. He was a woman born into a man''s body." Workshops Suggestions for FTM and SOFFAs -- "What follows is a list of about 26 workshops that we wrote up a few years ago to demonstrate how F2M issues can be inclusive of the whole spectrum of F2Ms as well as to soffas (significant others, friends, family, and allies). Feel free to use what appeals to you." for the Wives and Girlfriends -- "Being married to a cd/tv or even being in a relationship with one is very difficult. Every relationship is difficult, mind you, but one cannot run to their friends for advice in this situation. Dressing is a very personal thing for many people, extremely personal, and that should be respected, although if he has confided this to you, i am sure he trusts you with it. Remember that he loves you and trusts you."
Help build the largest human-edited
directory on the web.